Between coffee dates with $3.48 lattes at Target, quiet afternoons doing nothing in particular at grandma and grandpas, and writing about summer memories at the lake (in particular, the beauty of night-swimming lit only by the flickering of the stars and the dim boat light), the past few days have been rich in friendship, in simplicity, in honest living not limited by 140 characters.
Summer reminds me how life should be. Barefoot in the grass, fresh food, friends within walking distances, and a sense of adventure in the air. I wish I had left my suitcases packed, so I could unzip them and smell the salt and sand and earth on my clothes, feel that summer sun on my skin, remember the whimsy and spontaneity that comes of weeks unburdened with schedules. Perhaps the greatest gift of the summer is an understanding that this life is wild and precious. What we do matters. I want to let life unfold. Simply. Honestly. Wholly.
Blogging requires a balance that I've been lacking. As a result, I'm left trying to steady and even out the scale, searching for the fulcrum. I've been dreaming of taking a blog fast for awhile now, but I haven't because the thought of not being caught up on the internet's happenings stresses me out. The pressure to be on top of everything online is nails on a chalkboard, wet socks on a negative temperature day, a cold in summertime. All the time I invest in online relationships (or my online "presence") takes away from the relationships with people I'm living life with.
As humbling as it may be to admit it to myself, it's refreshing. Here is the truth: I am not a big deal and nor do I want to be. It's all about Jesus and I hope that every story I photograph, write, or sing would point back to Him. And the internet will be fine without me. :) People and their lives and stories are more important than a new post every day.
Where do you need to simplify?
What makes your heart beat faster?
Where do you need to change?
What do you need to cut back on, de-clutter, get rid of?
What is holding you back?
They're all things I'm learning to ask myself and be honest with the answer. I wish it was a school test, where I could fill in a, b, c, or d, but life isn't easily answered with a multiple choice question. I am simplifying and letting go and learning what that means in my life, and it's good.
I do know this : It means saying hello to more early mornings with the sun stretching across the sky, reading more books and less blogs, and cooking good food. It's the difference between hearing a song on the radio or listening to it live, it's the grace caught in the quiet moments when we remember this deeper story we're living out. New adventures, travels with nothing but a suitcase and a camera to see, remembering how we lived before the internet. And I see it like a gathering in the woods -- we'll each bring a homemade goodie (I'll bring the apple pie), string up some fairy lights (convinced that they're the little extra in the ordinary), and laugh late into the stars.
In case it looked like I was saying goodbye to this blog, let me tell you, no. :) I am refocusing and going back to the heart of this site, but I'm keeping this little space here. It's dear to me and I'm grateful for the opportunities that have opened up and friendships that have been formed because of it. It'll be different in ways I'm still wondering / mulling about in the next few months, but I'm excited to make some (much-needed) changes.
Have a really wonderful Monday. :)